How Do You Know If Your Husband Has Cheated – When you get married, you know that the romantic feelings between you are sometimes stronger than others.
You don’t expect his romantic feelings for you to die completely, let alone indifference or hostility.
How Do You Know If Your Husband Has Cheated
However, more and more, he leaves you with a burden on your heart and a growing conviction: “My husband hates me.”
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You want to know how to tell if your husband hates you. It is clear that your relationship has changed.
Hate is refusing to release your anger towards someone for something they said or did that hurt or offended you or someone you care about.
Hating someone means refusing to forgive them – that is, holding a grudge. Ask yourself if any of the following behaviors sound familiar:
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While these are all strong indicators that your husband is angry with you, the signs you’ll see below are behaviors that are more common for a man who no longer loves or feels his wife – for whatever reason.
If your man hates you – or doesn’t love you anymore – he’s going to tell you in a number of ways. The following list of behaviors can help you identify the signs and understand them better.
You’re in the same place, but he seems allergic to your company. He’s constantly finding something (or someone) else to occupy his time and attention. And when you finally corner him with a question or comment, he seems eager to leave.
Every time you try to talk about the problems in your relationship, he reframes to blame you for it. As far as he can tell, you seem determined to find a problem where there isn’t one.
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Or if you see a problem, it’s your own creation. He turns you on and makes you doubt your perspective on the relationship. He makes you feel like you’re the one who ruined everything. And you shouldn’t be surprised if he gets fed up enough to leave you.
He is not interested in fixing the relationship for the better. Because strengthening your connection is not a priority for him.
Or he may be avoiding the problem out of fear that you will point out all the mistakes he has made and blame him. He may feel that there is no point in being in a relationship that no longer makes either of you happy.
If he has given up on having a close and fulfilling relationship with you, he will not see work as a waste of energy.
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Why would he vent his feelings about you on someone who might judge him for his perceived failure as a man? Why submit to it if he doesn’t see the benefit of counselling?
And if he relies on a therapist taking your side, he won’t see anyone. Nor is he likely to want to spend an hour every week arguing about your relationship.
When you pressure him to schedule time for the two of you to talk privately, he refuses to be pinned down or forced to sacrifice some of his precious free time. He may just see it as an opportunity for you to vent or talk about things that don’t interest him.
If you can at least convince him to commit after 15 minutes, that’s a start. Make a short list of things to talk about, but don’t expect to cover everything.
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He’s been spending more and more time away from home these days. Aside from her job, she goes out for activities, classes, volunteer opportunities, or just hanging out with friends or family. Maybe his friends are working on his cases because they spend so much time with him
Or maybe he prefers spending time away from home. He may associate the home environment with stress (arguments, tension, criticism) rather than love or security.
It’s one thing if he disagrees with you. This happens even in happy marriages. But if he insults you in front of you and then repeats that insult when he talks about you to other people, there’s a problem. Here are some examples of inappropriate comments:
He definitely doesn’t mind speaking disrespectfully to you or making you look bad in the eyes of others. But you’re afraid of how he’ll react if you try to talk to him the same way.
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He looks you up and down and sighs with a dreamy smile on his face. Now he doesn’t seem to make eye contact with you.
You can’t remember the last time he asked if you were in the mood. The last time you tried to surprise her with new underwear, she barely noticed. And if he finds you in bed, he shows no interest in getting comfortable with you.
He always makes time for long, long hugs, but the last time you asked him, he gave you a quick hug with a few perfunctory pats on the back.
To make matters worse, when you reach out to take her hand the next day, she literally backs away when you touch her. In public, he is further away from you than ever before. And forget the PDA.
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You are away from home longer than ever, and you look forward to seeing your husband. But when you walk in the door, he doesn’t respond.
You think he’d be relieved to see you, just as you would be if he were unusually late. But he seems to enjoy his company more than yours. Your presence is a distraction.
Ask a kind question, and he responds with a snide comment or a defensive counter-question. Whenever you try to talk to him about something, he either turns it into a fight or ignores you and walks away.
You used to talk about just about everything to each other, but now you’re in luck if you can get him to listen to a full sentence before he responds.
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Give him a choice between spending time with you or going out with friends—or spending the day alone—and he’ll choose option B or C.
You don’t have much in common anymore, other than your shared address and a few other household details. And he now feels the need for a separate identity as an individual as he pursues a stronger relationship with you.
What you do with your time is none of his business, and he’s not interested in talking about it. He doesn’t want to hear about how your day went or talk about his.
He doesn’t want to join you for social events related to your work or something you are passionate about. He just wanted no part of it.
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He no longer sees the value in doing things for you. Maybe he’s afraid you’ll criticize the results. Or maybe he just found a more rewarding way to spend his time.
Even if he doesn’t refuse, he often forgets to do what you ask him to do. Or he’ll start and get distracted and won’t follow through. It wasn’t a priority for him to do that
He is used to extreme flattery to impress you or just to get your attention. He goes out of his way to make you feel like you, more than anyone else, dominate his mind.
And now, he couldn’t be bothered. He’s not trying to surprise you or make you laugh. He hardly shows any appreciation for the things you do (if he does).
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He has no trouble remembering your last birthday, let alone celebrating it with you. And the previous birthday was just another day for him. There’s no point in going out together or even making a special dinner.
Hassles And he doesn’t seem to care that his indifference to these special days is hurting you. Your feelings are not what he thinks they are anymore.
He’s more than okay with the idea of taking separate vacations. After all, he likes different things. And the last time you did something “fun” together, you didn’t get along.
Maybe he’s wondering, “What are we going to talk about? What are we going to do together if we don’t even like the same activities? You see the questions on his face and feel like saying, “I want you to be there.” would just roll her eyes.
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Now that you’re more familiar with the signs, there’s more than one possible response to what you’ve just read:
For #1: Stick to press release appointments, and make it. If he refuses or makes excuses for not showing up, decide whether or not you want to show you’re serious about it with divorce or separation papers. Why stay in a loveless marriage with someone who doesn’t even like you?
For #2: Insist on couples counseling or at least one hour each week of uninterrupted private conversation about what you can do to rebuild your relationship.
Take a look at resources that can help. If he refuses or finds reasons to cancel two or more of your weekly dates every month (without good reason), consider more drastic steps. You may even need a guide to determine what
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